Baby Step 2

After an hour at the OBGYN office last Wednesday I learned something new. Infertility is a strong and heavy word. My doctor wrote it at the top of my chart and I nearly came to tears. I heart sank. My diagnostic: Infertility. I understand that many women never want to talk about the 'I' word, but it's real. It hurts. It 's lonely. No matter if it's child #1, #4 or #8, no woman wants to hear that she is having trouble conceiving.

The first thing Mr. Mind said was "I don't know what to say to you to make you feel better." Then I thought, 'I don't know what I want him to say to me.' Certain encouragement phrases would seem fake or rehearsed. It's not a cold so please don't say "It'll get better." Don't tell me to relax because I am. I haven't gone off the deep end yet! And for the love of all the ice cream in the world, please don't tell me how easy it was for you (others) to get pregnant. I'm 30 and you were 18. That's a big difference in its self.

My road ahead might be smooth, bumpy or rough, but I'm not alone. No words are needed because his shaky hand and tear filled eyes meant everything. He wants a family just as much perhaps even more than me. We will approach month #14 with a new profound understanding of the human body. This is more than just the birds and the bees.

I will ensure I do all I can to see those baby steps in the sand.