Fighting: Dishes vs Infertility
I never thought Mr. Mind and I will be that kind of couple that will chew each other's head off, but after one wrong action it began. I am the cook in the home. I typically grocery shop alone, plan all meals and keep everything gluten free and as organic and natural as possible. Mr. Mind is the cleaner in the home. He typically takes care of the dirty dishes, the bathroom, laundry and sometimes the floors.
However, my responsibilities are a daily requirement. His are weekly. I can't skip a day and not cook at all because we need (and want) to eat and restaurants are a financial burden that we can't handle right now. But, he can put off washing clothes and cleaning the bathroom until Sunday. Or neglect washing dishes every other day. His claim, "I'm tired. I'll get to it tomorrow or later."
He said that too many times in one week and I lost it. I began to boil on the inside. I am working myself to the bone, while he chooses when he gets to work. I yelled "Go find a maid because I'm not one!" All my emotions of infertility came pouring out. It's not OK to sit back and let everything pile up. It's not OK to do whatever you want when you want. This is a partnership and when one person is not rowing this boat, we are going in circles. And damn-it, I'm getting seasick!
The fight was short lived but the silence lasted for hours. We just didn't know what to say to one another. He's hurt, I'm hurt, our families are hurt. I want a solution and he wants to take his time. And none of this has to do with dishes. Right?
However, my responsibilities are a daily requirement. His are weekly. I can't skip a day and not cook at all because we need (and want) to eat and restaurants are a financial burden that we can't handle right now. But, he can put off washing clothes and cleaning the bathroom until Sunday. Or neglect washing dishes every other day. His claim, "I'm tired. I'll get to it tomorrow or later."
He said that too many times in one week and I lost it. I began to boil on the inside. I am working myself to the bone, while he chooses when he gets to work. I yelled "Go find a maid because I'm not one!" All my emotions of infertility came pouring out. It's not OK to sit back and let everything pile up. It's not OK to do whatever you want when you want. This is a partnership and when one person is not rowing this boat, we are going in circles. And damn-it, I'm getting seasick!
The fight was short lived but the silence lasted for hours. We just didn't know what to say to one another. He's hurt, I'm hurt, our families are hurt. I want a solution and he wants to take his time. And none of this has to do with dishes. Right?
Comments
Post a Comment